Being a submissive in a BDSM relationship can be a fulfilling and exciting experience, but it also requires a certain level of self-awareness and self-care.
One important aspect of being a good submissive is being available to your dominant partner. This means being present both physically and mentally, as well as being open and responsive to their needs and desires.
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Make yourself more available to your dominant
One way to make yourself more available to your dominant is to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations.
By being mindful, you can become more aware of your own needs and desires, as well as those of your partner. This can help you to be more responsive and in tune with your dominant’s needs and desires.
Another way to make yourself more available is to work on your communication skills. Clear, open, and honest communication is essential in any relationship, and this is especially true in a BDSM relationship.
Your dom needs to know your boundaries and what you are comfortable with, and you need to be able to express your needs and desires in a clear and direct way. This can help to prevent misunderstandings and ensure that you are both on the same page.
Take care of yourself
It’s also important to take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly. Taking care of yourself physically can help you to have more energy and focus, which can make you more available to your dom.
Balancing the needs of both
Additionally, it’s important to take care of your emotional well-being by practicing self-care and seeking support when needed. A healthy emotional state can help you to be more open and responsive to your dominant’s needs.
Remember that being a submissive is not about putting yourself last, but rather about balancing the needs of both partners.
Be sure to take care of yourself and set healthy boundaries, so that you can fully be present and available to your dominant partner.
Prevent passive submission trap
Submission in a BDSM relationship can be a powerful and empowering experience, but it is important to make sure that it is not taken to the extreme where the submissive becomes passive.
Passive submission is when the submissive becomes so focused on fulfilling the desires of the dominant that they lose sight of their own needs and desires. This can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, and even emotional and physical harm.
Maintain healthy boundaries
One of the most important things a submissive can do to prevent the trap of passive submission is to set and maintain healthy boundaries. This means knowing what you are and are not comfortable with and communicating this clearly to your dominant partner.
For example, if you are not comfortable with certain types of play or certain types of physical touch, it is important to let your dominant partner know this. By setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, you are able to ensure that you are not being taken advantage of or pushed beyond your limits.
Another way to prevent the trap of passive submission is to practice self-awareness. This means being aware of your own thoughts, feelings, and needs, and being able to communicate them to your dominant partner.
For example, if you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed, it is important to let your dominant partner know this so that they can be aware and adjust their behavior accordingly.
By practicing self-awareness, you can prevent the trap of passive submission by making sure that your needs and desires are being met.
Submission is not about giving up your individuality
It’s also important to remember that submission is not about giving up your agency and individuality. The submissive still has the power to make decisions and choices for themselves, and should never feel pressured or forced to do anything that goes against their own values or morals.
A good dominant will respect the submissive’s boundaries and choices, and will never put their needs above the subs.
Self-care and self-reflection
Make sure to take time for self-care and self-reflection. This can include things like journaling, therapy, or spending time alone to reflect on your thoughts, feelings and experiences in the relationship.
It is important to take the time to process the experiences and emotions that come with the dynamic, and to check in with yourself to make sure you are feeling okay and that the relationship is still healthy and satisfying for you.
What is Active Submission?
Active submission is a term used to describe a submissive who is fully engaged and present in the BDSM relationship, and actively works to fulfill the needs and desires of the dominant while also being aware of and taking care of their own needs and desires.
It is a balance between submission and self-agency, and it is an important aspect of a healthy and fulfilling BDSM relationship.
Knowing yourself and what you are comfortable with
Active submission starts with self-awareness, knowing yourself and what you are comfortable with, and setting boundaries.
It’s important for the submissive to be able to communicate their boundaries, limits, and desires to the dominant partner, and to actively participate in the negotiation of the terms of the relationship. This can be done through open and honest communication, ongoing check-ins, and active consent.
Being present in the moment
Active submission also means being present in the moment, both physically and mentally. This means being fully engaged in the scene, and being responsive to the dominant’s commands, guidance and feedback.
It also means being aware of your own physical and emotional state, and being able to communicate that to the dominant, so that the scene can be adjusted accordingly.
Actively working to fulfill the dominant’s needs
Active submission involves actively working to fulfill the dominant’s needs and desires. This can mean taking the initiative in certain situations, such as initiating a scene or offering suggestions for things to try.
It also means being attentive to the doms needs and desires, and actively working to please them. This can involve things like making sure the dominant’s needs are met when it comes to domestic or personal tasks, or taking care of their physical and emotional needs during and after a scene.
It’s important to remember that active submission is not about sacrificing your own needs and desires, but rather about finding a balance.
An active submissive should never feel pressured or forced to do something that goes against their values or morals, and should always have the ability to speak up if something doesn’t feel right.
Preventing the trap of passive submission and being a good submissive requires a balance of self-awareness, self-care, and good communication. By practicing mindfulness, improving communication skills, taking care of yourself physically and emotionally, and setting healthy boundaries, you can become more available to your dominant partner and create a more fulfilling and satisfying BDSM relationship.
Remember to communicate and check in with your dominant partner and yourself, and make sure that your own needs and desires are being met in the relationship.
Active submission is a balance between submission and self-agency. It’s about being fully engaged and present in the BDSM relationship, setting boundaries, communicating needs and desires, being present in the moment, actively working to fulfill the dominant’s needs and desires, and taking care of oneself.
By actively participating in the relationship and being aware of one’s own needs, a submissive can create a more fulfilling and satisfying BDSM experience for both partners.
I’m not only bi and Princess but also Dominatrix and Findom. I love writing and I’m deep into BDSM, bondage, dominance, and submission, and of course into plenty of fetishes. I started SMCult.com, a BDSM & Fetish & Fimdom blog to share my experiences and information as I wish to push people to discover their real identity and sexuality, plus put like-minded people together through various dating avenues as it’s my biz. Post your thoughts about this post below, and don’t hesitate to connect with me through my channels, but don’t expect getting an answer unless you send me also a tribute. 💗💗💗💗💗